I'm An Idiot...

So, I started filming my web-series this weekend and had all of my equipment and wardrobe bags in the back seat of my Thunderbird. My sister called and asked me if I could pick up her and a friend. I said sure, forgetting about all of the crap in my car. When I got to my car, I decided to take my lighting kit and shove it into my trunk. Ok, now my trunk was also filled to the brim and sitting on top of the brimming stuff was my black wool suit and black leather shoes (the most expensive pair I own, by the way). So, I took my location monitor and placed it on top of my car. I also placed my leather shoes on top of my car—there's no way that I would let these babies get crushed. So, I squeezed my lighting kit into my trunk, got into my car and took off.

I drove down my steep hill and then onto another steep hill. These are among the most coveted steep hills in my town. Many a child have ridden wheeled contraptions down them with much delight. I finally arrived at my sister's place of employment. She ran up to my window and said, “Oh my god Pat, you have a tv on top of your car.” My heart sank. I made it all the way from my house, down two steep hills and one sharp turn without spilling my $180 shoes and $580 monitor. There's no way that I'd be able to replace these considering my current financial status.

Now, I'm not going to thank God because I don't believe in one, but I will thank gravity, heavy leather soles and a heavy-ass monitor's insides.

Culinary Renaissance

Today I made a culinary-masterpiece of Renaissance proportions. It was a faux-pizza baked with wheat-flat bread, fresh mozzarella, Gorgonzola and various combinations of mushrooms with spinach or grilled chicken with sun dried tomatoes. I roasted garlic, tomatoes and onions and combined the ingredients on each flat bread with painful precision. I threw them in the broiler, crisped them up and put them on a plate.

I gave my step-father the first one. He said it smelled good and proceeded to take a large vat of sour-cream out of the fridge and then smeared the white stuff on top of the flat-bread. I won't tell you what this did to the color harmony. Did he even notice the paper-thin slices of tomatoes? Let me tell you folks, this was one damn sexy piece of food. Not only did he smear, he folded the flat-bread in half. Anyway, I let him slide because he is still fairly new in this country. Maybe he misconstrued these baked flat-breads as some form of quesadilla.

Then my mom and sister came home. I made them each their own, custom flat-bread. My sister was adversed to spinach so I made hers without it (even though I explained to her that the color of the finished product would be off—the green added such a nice contrast—she persisted that she didn't want spinach). No spinach, not that big a deal. Maybe then the sun dried tomatoes, which, by the way, have been infused with herb-seasoned olive oil, will have a stronger presence.

So, I broiled these bad-boys and when they're ready, I took them out, sliced them up and served them with pride. My mom took one look and loved my presentation. She loved it even more when she tasted it. Good—this stroked my ego. My sister took one look at it, walked over to the fridge and proceeded to take out a large vat of sour-cream. Now I don't know who influenced whom, but my sister was about to spread that sour cream all over my just-short-of-a-masterpiece (remember, no spinach). I became deeply insulted and had a little squabble over it, which ended with my saying, “Well, that's the last time I cook.”

Maybe I was a little over the top, but with the amount of money that I spent on food, I could have ordered two large pies and put gas in my car. But, I can't blame my family for not appreciating all the intricacies of my meal just because I got the urge to cook. I need to find a new audience.

A little trouble...

My previous post isn't being displayed in my "recent posts" list. What's going on?

Coffee and Cigarettes

Watched Coffee and Cigarettes today. My cousin and I decided to each do a Coffee and Cigarettes segment. There's something very cinematic about shooting someone smoking a cigarette while waxing whatever. I bought a pack today to “practice” smoking, as I am not a smoker and don't want to look like a neophyte when filming. I smoked two in a row, practiced looking cool and immediately got sick to my stomach. I don't think that smoking is for me but I am willing to suffer for my art (I say this in a gentle whisper as to enhance it's painstaking sincerity).