Keeper of the Paintings…

Yesterday turned out to be interesting. I drove to Amber’s to help her move some stuff to Byron’s. She has finally decided to move onto the next step in her life. I drove to Byron’s house with plant resting on my floor--it’s appendages reaching for and groping my ceiling--slightly obscured my view.

Elsha did a crazy beeppullupbesidesmycarinmovingtrafficwithherwindowdown move--she ended up telling me that she needed gas. I needed oil, so we pulled over and filled up our empty receptacles with the proper liquid. Elsha helped me out with my oil change, as I am a complete idiot when it comes to cars.

Got to Byron’s house, waited for him to come home from the gym and went to a diner sans-Elsha. When at the diner, I removed my coat and hoody in a very slow and dramatic way. Found out that the manager was standing behind me the whole time. Byron informed me that I’m a little pretentious--which I’ve been told quite often but no one has been able to put their finger on it. He eventually settled on the fact that I have a pretentious face.

I immediately wondered how one goes about making their face less pretentious. The final solution was that I have too many dark features (i.e. bushy eyebrows, black hair and beard) for dark, thick framed glasses. I tried on his thin, wire framed glasses and Amber went into instant orgasmic bliss. She spread her body across the table in an attempt to dissipate the heat emitting from her body across the large cool surface of the Formica table. I don’t think it worked. She started playing footsies with me, I guess I played footsies with Byron (accidentally, honestly--those booths were very small), and he gently grazed my knee while reaching for his wallet.

Amber started singing I’m Looking Through You in the way that only she can. The song stuck in my head and we had to play it in the car, on the way home.